Drinking Buddies
by Modern Denial
Summary: Loki's boredom on Earth leads him to convince Steve to join him in a night out on the town. Slightly AU. No romance.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own The Avengers or its characters.

**A/N:** This was just a silly little idea I came up with. It took me a while to write the whole thing, but I'm pretty happy with it. I'm sorry about the last part...I'm not the greatest with writing action scenes. But I hope you like it!

* * *

It had been four and a half weeks since Thor had insisted Loki go with him back to Midgard for a visit. Naturally, there had been some tension when the God of Thunder had reappeared with his deviant brother in tow, the same brother who had destroyed half of Manhattan the year prior, but the suspicion and tension eased within the first week. Even so, Loki had managed to upset most of the Avengers team with his tricks and pranks. Whenever they'd get angry, Loki would remind them that at least he wasn't wreaking havoc on their precious New York City this time. This would send them into fits of frustration, but then they'd walk away and leave Loki to find his next victim to prank.

Loki was growing increasingly bored with being stuck on Midgard. Thor had invited him because he didn't want Loki to feel left out, but having no one of his own to visit, Loki was just as alone here as he was on Asgard. Despite the overwhelming amount of SHIELD agents at his disposal, Loki longed for new prey. He had successfully tricked every agent at least once, some twice. But playing with the same toys was becoming dull. He thought he was on the brink of losing his mind when inspiration hit him on a night out with the Avengers.

The group had decided to go out to a bar one night, and at Thor's request, Loki was also invited. Loki quietly observed everyone else as their fourth round of drinks appeared at the table. Clint and Natasha were more giggly than usual, with joyful smiles replacing their normally stern expressions. Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, announcing he was tired and couldn't possibly handle another drink. Tony had a slightly higher tolerance than the rest, but even he was a little louder and sassier than normal. Jane's face was flushed and she kept her arm linked with Thor's, smiling up at the golden-haired god. Midgardian alcohol took much longer to have an effect, if any, on the two gods, but that didn't stop Thor from joining his companions in laughing and joking. The only two people not laughing with the rest were Loki, who didn't bother to feign intoxication with the rest, and Steve, whose regenerative powers prevented him from leaving a state of constant sobriety.

That's when the idea hatched in Loki's mind. Under the cover of the rowdiness of the bar patrons, he approached Steve with his proposition.

"That must be, what, your fourth pint of beer? Will you join the rest for the next round, or will you give up trying to feel that buzz?" Loki said in a low voice as he sat down next to Steve.

Steve gave him an annoyed look. "Sometimes, I hope that one day I will finally feel something again," he replied, looking at the beer foam at the bottom of his glass. "I know it will never happen, but I try to enjoy myself nonetheless," he said with a shrug before knocking back the last bit of liquid.

Loki smiled to himself, relieved that he had successfully eased his way into conversation with the super-soldier. However, he felt there was no time to waste with more mindless chatter.

"Well, if you don't mind me saying, you don't appear to be enjoying yourself too much tonight. But I can think of a good way to enjoy your...inebriation impediment," he said slyly.

Steve was wary of the mischievous god, but he was also intrigued. He tried to hide his curiosity, but Loki quickly picked up on it. "I know you are interested," he said before Steve could reject his proposal.

Steve sighed. "Okay, fine. What's your grand scheme?" he asked in a defeated tone.

"What if we took advantage of your little gift?"

"What exactly are you suggesting?"

"There are plenty of wallets eagerly waiting to be emptied on a bar bet."

Steve raised an eyebrow in confusion before it dawned on him. His eyes widened with shock at the devious plot laid out before him.

"Loki, that's unfair! It's lying! They'll be at at a disadvantage!" Steve protested.

"Exactly," the trickster said with a grin, his eyes twinkling with excitement. It was a great plan, but he couldn't pull it off alone.

"What if somebody gets hurt or sick?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something heroic to do," Loki responded in a slightly sarcastic tone.

Steve frowned at him, but then he took a look around at his friends and teammates. They were all having a good time, laughing and smiling and bantering. He was especially withdrawn tonight, probably out of the lingering bitterness of the inability to join his friends in their states of drunkenness. He knew that out-drinking other bar patrons wasn't going to finally make him drunk, but maybe he'd have a good time doing it. He scowled to himself, mildly upset that he was letting the God of Mischief convince him to do something. It was as if Loki were the devil on his shoulder, egging him on to let loose, and his good moral standing stood in the way, preventing him from doing what he really wanted to do. After arguing with himself for a few minutes, he finally nodded his head in agreement.

"Okay, I'll do it," he said. Loki's smile widened. "But only under two conditions," he added.

"Let's hear them then."

"First, we make sure nobody gets hurt. If somebody gets sick, we take care of them right away. Got it?"

Loki rolled his eyes and accepted the compromise. "And the second condition?"

"The second one is that you have to drink, too."

Loki's eyes narrowed, but he was still smiling. "I see. Don't want to carry the load?"

"Well, I'm assuming we'd be going around from one bar to the next. You can't get drunk either, so we'll switch on and off. I drink at one bar, you drink at the next."

Loki considered this for a moment before agreeing. "Sounds like a plan. Although before we leave, I must make sure you understand there will be a bit of acting. You do remember what it is like to be drunk, don't you?"

Steve's cheeks grew a little pink from embarrassment. "Well, I remember going out to bars with Bucky a few times, but I was always too intimidated by everyone else to get too drunk. I think I was tipsy a few times..."

Loki sighed. "I guess authenticity doesn't matter too much. As long as you seem convincing. Besides, I'm sure most other people will be too drunk themselves to notice anything strange."

"And what about you? Do you know how to act drunk?"

The sly smile that seemed permanently attached to Loki's lips grew bigger. "I think I'll be convincing enough."

* * *

They decided to leave once the entire group left the bar so as not to raise suspicion, but their companions were too intoxicated to notice the odd pair turning the other direction as they exited the establishment. Thor was the only one who took notice. He shot his younger brother a knowing look that said "Don't get into too much trouble." Loki flashed a mischievous smile in response, to which Thor shook his head and laughed.

Steve and Loki had agreed that Steve would drink first and Loki would use his sneaky way with words to reel in the competitor. As they approached the first bar, Steve found himself suddenly full of stage fright. He paused in front of the door, feeling unsure of the entire plan.

"What's wrong?" Loki asked.

"What if it doesn't work?"

Loki simply smiled and led Steve closer to the doorway. "Don't worry. We can't lose."

As they stepped through the doors, Loki announced, "My friend here bets he can out-drink anyone in this bar." He clasped his arm around Steve's shoulder and patted his muscular chest with the other hand. "So, any takers?"

That night, Steve discovered how simple the act of deception could be. He did feel guilty when they left the first bar, Loki counting the bills one by one. He especially felt bad when he discovered the actual amount of money they had made was more than Loki's initial count.

"But who would think to put different numbers on the same kind of paper?"

But as the evening continued, Steve's spirits lightened. You could even say he was having fun roaming New York City's bar scene with the God of Mischief. They switched places every other bar according to plan. Naturally, Loki was quite skilled at talking people into parting with their precious money, and he was also gifted at acting. He would make it seem as if he were about to fall over from all the alcohol, but then he'd pull himself together and down one more swig of beer or one more shot. At first, it was a little difficult for Steve to get into the swing of acting. But watching Loki gave Steve some ideas for tricks of his own. The more bars they went to, the easier it was to be a convincing drunk.

Everything was going well: Loki was no longer bored, and Steve was actually enjoying himself for the first time in a while. The only trouble that came their way was at their final bar stop as they prepared to leave.

"Well, my friends, it would seem that your chosen soldier has fallen. I am so sorry, but my friend truly is gifted with his ability to hold his liquor. Thank you for playing along, and I wish you better luck next time," Loki announced to the bar.

He pulled Steve to his feet and let the "drunk" man to lean on him for support. They stumbled their way toward the exit and were almost out the door when a voice from behind stopped them.

"Wait a minute!"

Loki and Steve turned to see an angry man approaching them.

"What do we do?" Steve asked in a whisper.

"Let me handle this," Loki replied. "I'm sorry, my good sir, but my friend really needs to get back home. I'd hate for him to get sick in this fine establishment."

"You cheated us out of our money!" the man shouted furiously.

Loki chuckled. "I have no idea what you're talking about. It was a fair bargain. You thought your friend could beat mine in a drinking competition, but you were proven wrong."

"I just got a call from another friend a few blocks away. He said a couple a' guys came into the bar and tricked ev'ryone in the bar and then left. You are doing the same thing!"

Loki looked around at the rest of the bar. People had noticed the commotion, and all eyes were on them. Some of the people who had sat with this man had stood up and gathered not too far behind the angry man. Loki felt movement behind him, and one of the bar employees stood between him and the exit.

"Look's like we've been caught," he whispered to Steve. "Do you think we can take them?"

"They're innocent people, Loki. We can't fight them,"

"If we don't get away, they'll surely fight us."

Steve groaned, but he had already committed a number of sins tonight. "What's the plan of attack?"

"I'll take down this man, you get his friends, and then we'll find a way to get the hell out of here," Loki said quickly before turning his attention to the bar patron who was growing more and more upset.

"I'm sorry that you feel we have tricked you my friend, but—" he cut his sentence short with a punch to the man's jaw. He was careful not to hit too hard, but just enough to get him out of the way.

Steve stood upright and fought off the man's friends, also careful not to hurt anyone too badly. He was elbowed and hit a few times, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Soon, the man and his friends were writhing on the floor. Nobody was unconscious, just disoriented.

"Let's go!" Loki called to Steve. He had gotten the bar employee out of the way of the exit, leaving an easy getaway path for Steve.

He ran toward the exit, through the door, and onto the street. Loki was halfway down the next block, laughing as he ran. Steve caught up with him and the two kept running until they had put at least ten blocks between themselves and the location of the bar. Steve leaned against a wall to catch his breath, and he too started laughing.

"Loki, let's never do that again," he said while panting.

"You must admit, you had fun," Loki replied, ignoring Steve's plea.

Steve smiled and nodded. "I did. I did. But..."

"I promise I won't make you do this again," Loki interrupted. He grinned as he continued, "I'll just take Thor with me next time."

The unlikely pair laughed some more as they caught their breath on the sidewalk. It was the craziest thing Steve had ever done, but it was one of the best nights he had had since waking up from the ice.


End file.
